Uncle
Bob
The
teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
get their parents to tell them a story with
a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids
came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we
have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were
taking our eggs to market in a basket an the
front seat of the pickup when we hit a
bump in the road and the eggs went flying and
broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the
teacher.
"Don't
put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very
good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our
family are farmers too. But we raise chickens
for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs
one time, but when they hatched we only got
ten live chicks. And the moral to this
story is, don't count your chickens before they're
hatched."
"That's
a fine story Lucy," she continued.
"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes
ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my
Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam
and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash
land in enemy territory and all he had was a
bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.
He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then he landed right in the middle
of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy with
the machine gun until he ran out of bullets,
then he killed twenty more with with the machete
till the blade broke and then kill the last
ten with his bare hands."
"Good
heavens," said the teacher, "What
kind of moral did your daddy tell you
from that horrible story?"
"Don't
fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
