Special Operations.Com

CALL YOUR LOCAL CAVALRY
By Sherman R. Batman, SFC

How Rumors Get started: or, If you need a Ride call your local Cavalry

At FOB-2 in the Summer of 1968, a rumor was circulated that the One-Zero and One-One of ST Illinois had stolen a Tank from the 10th Cavalry. This tale is an attempt to put that vicious rumor to bed, and clear the name of the two outstanding soldiers involved.

In the Summer of 1968, in far away South East Asia, in the embattled country of South Vietnam, Republic of, a reconnaissance (Recon) team returned to its Base at Forward Operating Base -2 (FOB), Kontum. Having been in the Jungle for six days, the two Americans with the Team accepted an invitation from the Team Interpreter to have dinner that evening at his house in the City of Kontum. After the debriefing, a shower, and a change into clean clothing they headed to the Motor Pool to get a jeep for their trip into town. At the Motor Pool, they were greeted by a Nung, who was himself a retired recon man, who told them they could not have a jeep. The Team Leader, SFC Batman, and his Assistant Team Leader, Mike Tramel, retorted, "BS!", took the keys to a jeep and departed for Kontum. As they crossed the Bridge Leading into Town, they observed that a unit of the 10th Cavalry with a M48A5 Tank and its crew were outposting the Bridge.

Arriving at the interpreters house, they were met at the door with drinks and a boisterous welcome from all the Vietnamese guests. After drinking toasts to everyone of any importance in the American and SVN, Republic of, governments, they were really beginning to mellow out. Stepping outside for some fresh air, and to take a break from the toasting going on inside, they observed jeep approaching with two men it. The jeep stopped opposite them and an American 1st Lieutenant (Lt) dismounted and approached the pair of recon men. The Officer was dressed in Tiger Stripe fatigues, complete web gear and a M-16 rifle. Neither Batman nor Tramel had seen this Officer before. As he was approaching, the Lt demanded to know which of the two Americans was SFC Batman. After identifying himself, SFC Batman asked the officer what he wanted with him. The Lt stated: "You have misappropriated a government vehicle!" "I've what?", asks a dumbfounded Batman. "You took a jeep, that one there, without authorization , and did not obtain a trip ticket," says the Lt. "A trip ticket?", asks the even more dumbfounded Batman. The Lt responded: "Yes, in fact, you have stolen that vehicle and I intend to bring you up on charges!" Batman asks: "Jesus Christ! What tree did you drop out of? And just who in the hell are you?" The Lt says, "I am the Motor Officer for FOB-2," Batman, thoroughly confused, commented, "We don't have a Motor Officer at FOB-2." The Lt proudly asserts, "I was appointed yesterday by LTC Smith, you have stolen one of my vehicles!" Batman questions the Lt, "LT! Just how in the hell could I steal a stolen vehicle?" The poor Lt, with a puzzled look asks, "What do you mean a stolen vehicle?" Now, Batman, feeling superior, with a smile informs the Lt, "Well, LT., if no one has told you, let me be the first to inform you that every vehicle in that Motor Pool has once been the property of some unit in the Regular Army of the United States other than MACV-SOG, in short, we stole everyone of them." The disbelieving Lt states, "Nonsense! I am going to place you under arrest and take you back to the Camp where I will prefer charges on you." Batman then tells the Lt, "Lieutenant! The best thing you can do is let the Nung drive one jeep and you drive the other and get the Hell out of here!" Prudently, the extremely disappointed Lt heeds this advice from the two very drunk, and angry, armed men, and departs with the two jeeps leaving Batman and Tramel stranded in the city of Kontum, South Vietnam, Republic of.

Later that evening as they were walking back to Camp they approached the 10th Cavalry outpost at the Bridge. Being heavily laden with several containers containing alcoholic beverages, they stopped and treated their fellow Americans to some of the heavier items to lighten their load and make the trip back to the FOB easier. While they were drinking and talking with the Tank crew, they happened to mention that they had their vehicle confiscated by a LT, in the employ of the US Army. The Tank crew was outraged that anyone could be so callous and cruel as to set afoot these two fine gentlemen who had brought such joy to their lives by sharing their beer with them. The Tank crew volunteered to give the two a ride back to the FOB and commandeered the scout jeep and told the SOG troopers to mount up. " Wait a minute I thought you were going to take us there on the Tank?", says Batman. "Why hell, why not!" says the Platoon Sergeant. "How about letting Tramel drive?" asks Batman. Once again the Platoon Sergeant replies, "Why not." Now, seeing as how Tramel had never been on a Tank in his life, much less driven one, this 
is proof positive of the power of alcohol to cloud a persons judgement and good sense.

Mounting the Tank, with Tramel in the drivers seat, the Tank swung out onto Highway #14 and took up a direct, though somewhat erratic, course for the FOB. Needless to say, during the transit to the FOB; Jeeps, Trucks, ducks, dogs, pedestrians and bicycles were scattered to the four winds and the rice paddies as the Tank careened along at about 30 MPH. Arriving at the FOB, and opposite the Main Gate, Tramel does a neutral steer, which turns the Tank 90 degrees left while standing still, and proceeds toward the compound. The Yard on the gate nearly has a heart 
attack but manages to remove all the barricades before anything was damaged. Tramel stops the Tank in front of the CO's hootch, approximately one foot from the door. LTC Smith, fresh from the shower, and wrapped in a towel, comes to the door and finding himself at eye level with the top of the left track of a M48A5, wisely turns about and goes back into his hootch. A crowd of recon men begins to gather around the Tank to applaud Batman and Tramel assuming, of course, that they have stolen the Tank. At this time Major Smith the Executive Officer (no relation to
Donald) arrived and stated, "Batman, Colonel Smith says get that dammed Tank out of this Compound before he paints it Black and hangs TN numbers on it!" Deciding that perhaps discretion was the better part of valor, after all, our heroes retreat from the compound and park the Tank on Highway #14. Then with the Tank crew in tow they went first to the Mess Hall, where the Tank Crew was fed their first hot chow in weeks, and then to the Club where a good time was had by all. Leaving the Club the Tank Crew departed for the outpost, with their Tank, but only after vowing to return the next day to complete Tramel's Tank crew training. 

The next morning, lo and behold, bright and early, and all that, what shows up but the Tank with a very hungover crew. Batman and Tramel once again board the Tank, and with Tramel driving, head for the Hatchet Force Camp where there is a Range. Driving down the access road, that was wide enough for a jeep. The Tank removed several rolls of concertina, exploded numerous AP mines, and trip flares (incidentally trip flares are useless during daylight hours) before arriving at the Range. Now it is Tramel's turn to be trained as a Tank Gunner. He gets into the gunners seat and the Tank Commander lays the gun on a tree several hundred yards away, "Up," shouts the loader as he slams a 90mm HE Round into the breech. Our man, Tramel, hesitates only a second, squeezes the trigger and shouts, "On the way!" Quickly the loader repeats his previous actions and Tramel slams another round of 90mm down range. At this time from the other side of the target berm, there appears a cloud of Red, Purple, Yellow, Green and white smoke. The Tank Commander (TC) shouts, "Cease Fire!" From behind the berm there appears one of Americas best, SSG Robert M. Kline of ST Kentucky, who until we so rudely interrupted him had been conducting Immediate Action Drills (IAD) with his Team. It seems that once the 90mm rounds started cracking overhead, ever man on the Team had thrown a smoke grenade, which accounted for the multi-colored cloud. After everything calmed down, Tramel's training continued with him firing all the weapons on the Tank.

While Tramel was firing, the CO of the Hatchet Force arrived and demanded to know what the hell we were doing on his Range with a Tank. It seems that all the exploding mines, flares and 90mm fire had given the HF folks the impression that they were under attack and were now on 100% alert. Our heroes attempted to explain to the CO that they were using his range because it was the only safe place they could fire a 90mm without hitting the 3d Bde, 4th ID. "That doesn't explain why you are out here with a Tank," says the CO. "We are practicing Tank/Infantry in the
attack," says Batman, pointing to the Yards of ST Kentucky. As the CO left he shouted that, "He would see Batman and Tramel hanging by their balls from the FOB Flagpole," or words to that effect.

Having burned up several thousand dollars of the tax payers money, our little group returned to the FOB again creating havoc with the Hatchet Force defensive wire. Arriving at the FOB, our heroes bid a fond farewell to their newly made friends, and returned to their humdrum existence as recon team members. But for weeks they would regale all their friends with tales of the expertise they had gained during the sojourn with the Cavalry.

So you see, contrary to popular belief, Tramel and Batman did not steal a Tank we only borrowed it for awhile.